Category Archives: faith

The African American woman and her “Role models”


So, yeah, let’s talk about it….  

So I usually never write articles based on Social Media, gossip, or celebrity “Things” But coincidentally I was going to talk about role models and this cover happened to come up. Yeah, it’s a lot going on here. Most women are looking to be successful, beautiful, and definitely admired by others, but do these things line up with the Word of God and who The Lord really wants us to be?

I’m asking because, some young teenager is going to pick this magazine up, and say “Yeah, these are my role models” and honestly us as women have to start to give as much as we can back to the younger generation to show them differently. Especially if we are Women of God.

We spend countless hours watching these women, and honestly I can’t lie and say that I don’t have an opinion about the four of them based on their “Reality Celebrity persona”, but what are we as women in society doing or showing our younger generation of women that throwing plates at someone when your angry, or saying whatever you want to say anytime you want to say it, is wrong?

The point of this article is definitely not to “Bash” these women, because after all, they are God’s children, and everyone has the opportunity to turn from their ways and become better people, but my call is really to us as women of virtue, to increase our place in the life of at least one teenager who could be negatively affected by reality television, radio, music, or internet programs that degrade or disrespect women.

What alternative are we giving our girl teens? What are we doing to make a difference? Complaining about negativity never got us anywhere, but actually doing something about it, can change the world.

Our young girls should be focusing on their Virtue:

Virtue: is moral excellence. A virtue is a positive trait or quality deemed to be morally good and thus is valued as a foundation of principle and good moral being. Personal virtues are characteristicsvalued as promoting collective and individual greatness.

avirtuous bwoman is a crown to her chusband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. (Proverbs 12:4)

Modesty:

Modesty: Behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; ( 1 Timothy 2:9).

Love:

Love:s an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment.[1] Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindnesscompassion, and affection —”the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another”

Romans 13:8  Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.

Bottom line; We could bash these women and talk trash about them all day, but as women of faith, our job is to speak love, grace, and convey the traits of a virtuous woman. Show the younger ones in your life how to live this life for Christ, to live with and for your purpose, and most importantly, that this life is not about us, but about helping others learn who they are, and helping them to reach their goals.

Be the positive influence you want to see on television, because if we don’t start somewhere, it may never come.

Love you guys,

Dara Nichole

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Do African American Women lack Empathy?


Definition of Empathy- The intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another. The ability to understand and share the feelings of another. (Dictionary.com)

Now before you get all defensive on me, just hear me out. I first would like to say I am proud to be an African American Woman. I was born and Raised in Detroit, went to school with African Americans, raised by African Americans, and work with African Americans, so excuse me if I happen to believe I am a little experienced on discussing the lack of empathy sometimes displayed in the African American community. I would like to even say that I am an expert when it comes to this topic. Well, here we go.

As you can see, the definition of empathetic basically means to be understanding towards others when it comes to their shared experiences or feelings. Sometimes AA women can get labeled as “Angry” or “Attitudinal”, when in actuality, we may just be direct, or inquisitive about the subject we are discussing. There are no ways to totally wipe out stereotypes, especially with television shows depicting AA women to all be a certain way. However, we can take the steps to look within ourselves to be a little bit nicer. Don’t let your pride, and how you have been all your life stop you from evaluating yourself and being an even better you.  “Therefore let anyone who thinks he stands [who feels sure that he has a steadfast mind and is standing firm], take heed lest he fall [into sin].” 1 Corinthians 10:12

For years AA women in the workplace have had to battle the “Angry black woman” stereotype. I totally believe a lot of the times people are misunderstood, but what are we doing on the flip end to bash this stereotype? Are we feeding into the comments and saying “Well, if they think I’m angry, they haven’t seen nothing yet!” Or are we simply staying away from the office gossip and in turn our seclusion is being looked at as rudeness?

What about on the home front? Are our men quick to call us attitudinal or a “Roof top woman” after they forget to wash the dishes for the third straight day, or wash your favorite dress in hot water causing it to shrink? Is it really us, or is it them?

Well, at the end of the day, we all have to be self aware. We must evaluate ourselves in all areas of our lives and see if we are really carrying this stereotype with us everyday. I know it’s hard to deal with everything as a woman, work, finances, kids, husbands, boyfriends, no boyfriend, family, friends, and any other extracurricular activity that you may have added on to the long list, however, your ending result will not be based on how other people treated you, but what you did and how you treated other people.

Your probably saying, Dara, the people at my job are crazy, this man is selfish, and I feel like I am doing the very best I can. There is always room for improvement. I totally empathize with you. I too, have a lot on my plate, but we have to remember, only what we do for God will last, which means us changing and evaluating ourselves for God will outlast any current issue or problem that we are dealing with. #truth

“Even the most honest person cannot see himself as others do, for which we should be thankful. Each person is blind to certain parts of his character even when he is most brutally honest with himself.” Source

Below are some scriptures about self evaluation, being loving, and love in general. study them, commit them to memory, and when that knuckle head boss/co-worker/friend comes your way speak it! Believe me it works!

Love you guys!

Loving:

If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat,
and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink,
for you will heap burning coals on his head,
and the Lord will reward you.

Proverbs 25:21-22

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

Romans 12:9-10

Little children, let us not love [merely] in theory or in speech but in deed and in truth (in practice and in sincerity). 1 John 3: 18

Pride:

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. Ecclesiastes 7:8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 1 Corinthians 13:4

 

Being obedient to the call…. it’s a necessity


11If they obey and serve Him, they shall spend their days in prosperity and their years in pleasantness and joy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You know, life can be hectic sometimes. Husbands, children, jobs, school, stress, and of course the project that God has you working on.  Why does it always seem to come last? We make excuses like, “Well, I don’t have the money to this” or “There just isn’t enough time in the day”. And for the most part, these excuses are valid, but yet and still, they are still excuses.

I know the things God wants me to accomplish, and nine times out of ten, you do too. Us being obedient to him will bring so much joy into our lives, and will probably set us up financially, but we still push it to the back burner.

This morning I was on my way to work praying and thanking God for waking me up, and I was reminded about his love for me.  Through all the mistakes, complacency, blatant disrespect, and wrong doings, God has loved me still. I am so grateful for the word of God. If I didn’t have it, I honestly don’t know where I would be right now. It has helped me through all those times when I didn’t think I could make it, when I wasn’t strong, and when I wanted to give up. I went further back and thanked God for the campus ministry I was a part of and how if it had not of been for my pastor being obedient to the will of God for his life, I probably wouldn’t be writing this blog telling you to be obedient!

Stop procrastinating. Start what God has told you to do. Don’t wait on anybody or anyone else to be obedient to what God has called YOU to do. You can make a difference. Just start where you are, and let God show you how many resources you have around you. It’s time for us to stop being so complacent with the things of God, and start working on the visions he has put on the inside of us.

You CAN do it. If God wants you to do it, he will provide. Believe, trust, know. God will never put something on the inside of you to complete if he didn’t equip you with the know how or the resources to get it done.  Hopefully this song will get you going this morning to take the first step in following your dreams!  You can win! Just take one step at a time.

 

When you have the opportunity to throw in the towel… Don’t, and here is why!


So we have all heard most of the scriptures about not giving up, and we’re very aware that we need to continue the good fight of faith.

But when you are going through those tests and trials how easy is it for us to forget the very thing we confessed over ourselves that morning, that past Sunday at church, and at our prayer meeting the night before. Do we really understand the importance of the gifts on the inside of us?

Understanding the vision that God put on the inside of us to fulfill his purpose and plan for our lives is key to walking into that very thing. Sometimes when we don’t fully understand something, we don’t recognize the value or power it holds.

The bible says in Hosea 4:6 “My People are destroyed for a lack of knowledge..” When we truly seek God and understand the vision that he has for us, and stay in constant prayer and contact on what God would have us to do, then we get the revelation on that matter, and obedience becomes easier.

I truly believe that when we have an understanding on our vision and realize to an extent how people can be affected positively with the gifts on the inside of us, more confidence in walking in God’s will comes forward. I always think about if my pastor would have decided to be a doctor, or a lawyer, or even a school teacher and not walked into the calling of being a Bishop. How many lives have been changed through his ministry? How many people have been restored, renewed, refreshed, and given hope?

The bible says in Romans 5:20 “For just as by one man’s disobedience (failing to hear, heedlessness, and carelessness) the many were constituted sinners, so by one Man’s obedience the many will be constituted righteous (made acceptable to God, brought into right standing with Him.)” Now Jesus definitely was obedient and understood the calling on his life, he knew that he had to give his life for us. We are to be like Christ as well, and just like Jesus, God Will use us to bring people to him and bring them into right standing through our obedience to God and our selflessness.

See how important your gift and your obedience to walking in the will of God is important to the Kingdom!

Now as you are reading this, raise your hand if you have ever been in the process of accomplishing your goal and have been distracted, lied on, talked about, or even physically or mentally pushed off course. If you have it proves, how important your gift and obedience is to the body of Christ.

What I have learned is, in our process to becoming all what God wants us to be, we are being developed. We are being molded. While we go through the rumors, the jealousy, and the distractions we are able to use the word to develop and feed our faith. As we grow in faith, we are able to disciple people under us, and show them the way that leads to Christ. And the cycle of vision, obedience, and faith start again in someone else.

Sex before marriage ~ Don’t be fooled


Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.”  ( 1 Corinthians 6:18)

When you turn on the television sex is used to promote everything. From cartoons to adult shows, sexual innuendos are everywhere, but as Christians we must remember that sex is supposed to be ONLY between a Husband and Wife. (Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.  1 Corinthians 7:2)

Remember above all things that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost. Sanctified, set apart, and used for his glory. Once you gave your life to Christ you committed to submitting your body to his authority.

Besides this, there are so many diseases you can get, (some incurable) that can be with you for the rest of your life. Think about the decisions you make before you take that step.

Christ is the center of our lives. We must submit our will to his. Don’t jeopardize your health, or future for moments of satisfaction. Be bold, be strong, and remember that his will reigns supreme. Love God, cherish your life, and remember… SEX CAN WAIT!!!!!

Agape love, what does it mean??


This is a great article I found by Jimmy Evans… Let me know what you think…. Great advice for those looking to get married as well as those who are married. Happy reading!

                                             ~Dara Nichole

 

A Special Type of Love

There is an odd truth concerning love and marriage. Understanding it is an important key in making marriage and other relationships work. The truth is this – we don’t have the ability to really love without the power of the Holy Spirit working through us. In Galatians 5:22-23, the Apostle Paul tells us the fruit of the Spirit is, “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control…” According to this scripture, we don’t have the capacity to love without God giving us that ability as we surrender to Him. Often, when people say they love someone, they are just talking about sexual desire or a passionate feeling. These kinds of feelings come and go.So how are people able to “love” when they don’t know God? They can’t.

At least they are not able to love with God’s type of love. God’s love is a special love the Bible calls “agape”. It is a love that flows out of the will and does not change. It is the most stable and predictable kind of love and the only type that can provide a lasting foundation in marriage. Often, when people say they love someone, they are just talking about sexual desire (the Greek word “eros” where we get the word erotic) or a passionate feeling (“thumos” where we get our thermos). These kinds of feelings come and go. When they go for very long, many people give the old line “I don’t love you anymore” and are out the door. Agape love, however, is a committed and sacrificial love that is modeled after Jesus. When Jesus tells us He loves us, He isn’t talking about a feeling that comes and goes. He is telling us He is committed to us forever and will not change. Whether His feelings for us are positive or negative, it doesn’t change His commitment to us.

 We really need to consider what we mean when we tell our spouse, “I love you”. Are we saying that we are experiencing a fleeting feeling or are we saying we are committed to him or her forever and will demonstrate love regardless of bad feelings or negative circumstances? It isn’t wrong to express a feeling, as long as when that feeling isn’t there any more, you can still say “I love you,” and do the right thing regardless of the situation. People controlled by their emotions are unreliable, and their moodiness can do a lot of damage to relationships.

The most stable and dependable people in relationships are those who are submitted to the influence of the Holy Spirit. They are powered by a supernatural love that will do the right thing through thick and thin. Ask God to fill you with the power of His Holy Spirit. He never intends for us to go around trying to love people out of the shallow well of our own emotions.

The ocean of His love is always available to any of us who would just admit our weaknesses and depend upon Him. His agape love is the highest love and will transform any person, relationship or marriage under its influence.

check out more articles by Jimmy Evans at: Http://www.marriagetoday.org

You can also visit my website for more info on me: http://www.authordaranichole.com

The mind of Christ


This is an article from Joyce Meyer, I thought it was an awesome read:

Where the Mind Goes, the Man Follows
by Joyce Meyer
I have done a lot of teaching in the past twenty-five years, and I am convinced that one of the
greatest areas in which we need help is the area of our thinking. No matter how many messages
you and I hear about the mind, we can always benefit from hearing another one.
I believe that where the mind goes, the man follows. Jesus said in Luke 6:45, …out of the
abundance (overflow) of the heart his mouth speaks. And in Proverbs 23:7 the Bible says, …as he
[a man] thinks in his heart, so is he…. In both of these scriptures, the word heart refers to the
mind. In other words, our thoughts are the forerunners of both our words and actions. Whatever
you and I allow into our inner life will eventually be seen in our outer life.
So in order to deal with wrong behavior, we need to deal with wrong thinking. My deep desire is
to help us get our thinking lined up with His Word. As a result, the words of our mouths and the
actions of our lives will get straightened out in the process. I believe the key to victory is learning
how to think on the things that God wants us to think—to be renewed in our mind by the power
of His Word—instead of thinking on whatever comes into our head.
A House Made of Thoughts
I have come to the realization that our thoughts have the power to either help us or hurt us.
They can affect our health, our moods and our relationships. As a matter of fact, they affect
nearly everything in our lives. When I first began to study the Word, I had many problems in my
life. But a major transition took place in my spirit when I received a revelation about my thinking.
I discovered that the primary reason my life was messed up was because my thinking was
messed up.
The Lord showed me that all of us have an outer life and an inner life. Our outer life is the part
of us that everybody sees, and our inner life is the part that nobody sees, except God and us. The
inner life includes our thoughts, attitudes and motives. God knows every thought that you and I
think. The Bible says that …not a creature exists that is concealed from His sight, but all things
are open and exposed, naked and defenseless to the eyes of Him with Whom we have to do
(Hebrews 4:13).
I like to think of our inner life as a house made of thoughts that is constantly being built. It is
within these “walls” of our thinking that each of us lives. Every thought we accept is like another
brick in the wall of the house we are building. If we accept negative, selfish, or other ungodly
thoughts, our “house” will be a mess, and we will find ourselves walled in with the enemy. But
when we choose to think positive, godly thoughts, the “house” in which we live will be a blessing,
filled with the rewards of righteousness.
Our minds are just like computers—we can only get out of them what we put into them. When I
first began walking with God, my mind needed major reprogramming. Much of my thinking was
contrary to the Word, and it needed to be changed. Romans 12:2 says, Do not be conformed to
this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be
transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new
attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will
of God….
By the grace of God, I came to the understanding that if I wanted to have a better life, I needed
to have better thinking. Little by little, God began to reveal to me different areas in my life where
I had accepted Satan’s lies. The walls of deception I allowed the devil to develop in my mind
needed to be demolished and rebuilt with the truth. With the power of God’s Spirit at work in me,
the renovation process began.
Exposing the Enemy
Once we make the decision to change our thinking, you and I enter into an all-out war with the
enemy, and the battlefield is our mind. Satan knows that if he can dominate our thinking, he can
dominate our life. That is why he often attacks us early in the morning, before our feet ever hit
the floor. He strategically bombards our mind with every negative and ungodly thought
imaginable—all in an effort to set the stage for a day of misery and sorrow.
The Bible says that …we are not [to be] ignorant of his [Satan’s] devices (2 Corinthians 2:11
KJV). Interestingly enough, the word devices is defined by Thayer’s Greek-English Lexicon of the
New Testament as “a mental perception or thought; an evil purpose.” I have found that two of
Satan’s greatest devices he uses against us are worry and reasoning.
When I first began my walk with the Lord, I was a chief worrier. I worried about and tried to
figure out everything. I had to have everything in a certain place in my mind. I had become
addicted to worry and reasoning because it gave me a feeling of being in control. And when I was
in control, I felt comfortable.
Every time I accepted one of Satan’s lies, I gave place to him in my thinking (see Ephesians
4:27). Over the years, this allowed him to develop a stronghold in my mind. Webster’s II New
College Dictionary defines a stronghold as “a fortress; an area dominated or occupied by a special
group.” Mental strongholds can be built out of either good thoughts or bad thoughts. In my case,
my thinking had become dominated by worry and reasoning. I discovered that the only way to
destroy a stronghold of lies is with the truth.
Wielding the Sword
One of the greatest weapons that you and I have is the truth of God’s Word. The Bible says in 2
Corinthians 10:4,5, For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood],
but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds, [Inasmuch as
we] refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself
up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive
into the obedience of Christ…. If we don’t lead wrong thoughts away captive, the wrong thoughts
will lead us away captive.
When Jesus faced the temptations of Satan in the desert, He spoke the Word and defeated the
enemy (see Luke 4:1-13). That is what God was trying to teach me to do with the thoughts of
worry and reasoning. He wanted me to know, believe and exalt His Word above the ideas of the
enemy and my flesh. Jesus clearly stated in Matthew 6:25-34 that we are not to worry about
anything because God is faithful to provide all that we need, when we need it. Proverbs 3:5,6
says, Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely
on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him,
and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.
God opened my eyes to the truth of His Word. More and more, I began to trust what the
Scripture said over what the enemy said. The more I meditated on scriptures like these, the more
my thinking changed and the more freedom I received.
Having my mind renewed did not take place overnight. I have learned that problems that take
years to develop usually take time for God to work out of us. God does sometimes change things
in us instantly through prayer and the laying on of hands. But for the most part, it takes time. As
we daily submit to God, He will faithfully cultivate the character of Christ in us (see 1
Thessalonians 5:23,24). Armed with the truth, we can begin to take back what the devil has
stolen.
Maintaining Mental Freedom
Once we learn how to get free, we then need to learn how to stay free. It’s not enough to just
cast down the wrong thoughts; we have to choose to think the right thoughts. I found this to be
true in my battle against worry and reasoning.
As soon as I learned that God didn’t want me to worry or try to figure everything out, I made
every effort not to give place to it. When wrong thoughts came into my head, I did my best to
cast them down. I would say, “No, I am not going to think that!” For a moment, my mind would
find freedom. However, before long, the thought would come back. Again, I would say, “No, I’m
not going to think that!” But sooner or later, the same thought, or one just like it, would return.
This cycle would go on and on, and sometimes, by the end of the day I was worn out.
One day I remember praying, “God, I can’t go on like this day after day. As soon as I cast down
these wrong thoughts, they come back. What am I supposed to do?” The Lord answered me, “It’s
very simple. Just think about something else. If you are thinking about something good, then
the wrong thought has no place to get in. But if you sit around ‘empty-headed,’ then the evil
thought is always going to jump right back into your mind” (see Matthew 12:43–45).
This was a life-changing revelation for me. I realized that I can’t wait for something good to just
fall into my mind. I need to choose my thoughts on purpose—I need to fix my mind on …whatever
is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever
is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious… (Philippians
4:8). The Bible says in Deuteronomy 30:19 that life and death, blessings and curses, are set
before us. If you and I do not choose thoughts that lead to life, the devil will choose thoughts for
us that lead to death. But when we choose thoughts that lead to life, our lives will be blessed.
I believe this is a major key to victory. Romans 12:21 says that we …overcome (master) evil
with good. I have found that writing a list of all the positive points about a situation or a person,
along with writing down related scriptures, is a very helpful thing to do. After it’s written, I carry
it around and read it out loud every time I’m tempted to give place to wrong thinking. God has
used this method to renew my mind in many areas. I have learned that the more you and I
magnify and meditate on what’s good, the smaller our problems become.
Get In Agreement with God
As we endeavor to line up our thinking with God’s Word, right words and right actions will
follow. Ephesians 4:22–24 says, Strip yourselves of your former nature [put off and discard your
old unrenewed self] which characterized your previous manner of life… And be constantly
renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude], and put on the
new nature (the regenerate self) created in God’s image, [Godlike] in true righteousness and
holiness.
I believe it’s very important to understand that verse 23 is the bridge between verses 22 and
24. In order to get rid of our old ways and put on the new nature of righteousness and holiness,
you and I need to constantly renew our minds with the truth of God’s Word. I used to be a very
negative person, so it took daily determination for me to reprogram my thinking. But now that it’s
done, God’s positive perspective is almost automatic.
I challenge you to get into God’s Word and see what He says about you and your situations.
Think about what you are thinking about on a regular basis. Don’t just accept thoughts like, I
guess I’m going to be poor and in debt all my life… Nobody’s ever going to want to marry me…
My thinking is never going to change. Instead, get into agreement with God. Begin to think things
like, God wants me to prosper in every way (see 3 John 2). God has the perfect mate that He is
preparing for me while I rest in Him (see Genesis 2:18). God is changing me every day, from one
degree of glory to another, to be just like Jesus (see 2 Corinthians 3:18).
I encourage you to choose to believe and meditate on God’s Word. The more you study the
Word, the more you’ll be able to recognize and reject Satan’s lies. Take God at His Word daily,
and He will bring healing, restoration and rejuvenation to every area of your life!
RENEW YOUR MIND
• Romans 12:2
• 2 Corinthians 2:11
• 2 Corinthians 10:4,5
• Ephesians 4:22–24, 27
• Philippians 4:8
• 1 Thessalonians 5:23,24

You can win…..


 

As an adult I have grown  a lot! I have paid bills, gotten tickets, bought groceries, and have really learned the meaning of “delayed gratification”. The perception of adulthood, or young adult hood was misconstrued to me as a young adult.

My life was supposed to be like the character Whitley on “A different World”. Even though I didnt come from the picture perfect background, I would land on my feet and go through minimal issues in my life. Unfortunately, things didnt turn out that way, but Im still grateful!

Life has it’s way of knocking you down, taking you on random detours, building you up, and letting you down. But my God has and will always supply all my needs according to his riches and Glory! And that is what has carried me through to this day. I just wanted to send a short, sweet note to you, that if you are going through one of those “random detours” in life, remember, God has your back. He loves you, and he wants you to be happy. He has a perfect plan for your life, if you follow him.

I wanted to share with you one of my favorite songs of all time! listen to it, I promise it will lift your spirits…

*hugs*

Dara Nichole

How to choose wise counsel


‘Without counsel Plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” Proverbs 15:22

When you give your life to Christ, you automatically submit your will, your way, and they things you may have planned out in exchange for his will. Along your journey you will meet mentors, friends, pastors, wise and not so wise counsel, and as a growing Christian, it is your duty to be able to tell the difference. That may seem like a lot, but Don’t fret, I will give you some quick tips on how to decipher your counsel. Good counsel is ok, but you should ALWAYS prefer Godly counsel.

1.) Look for fruit: 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Therefore by their fruits you will know them (matthew 7:18-20)

Sometimes the misconception is that “fruit” constitutes money, houses, cars, and expensive items, when in fact that is a small portion. When Jesus talks about people knowing us by our fruit, he means us choosing to love, having integrity, character, working hard at things and being rewarded, spiritual maturity, etc. These are characteristics you should look for in someone you go to for counsel.

2.)Pray and ask God for Godly Counsel: If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.
(John 15:7)

If you abide in Christ, he will provide you with Godly counsel to surround you. Trust that as you lean on the Lord for understanding through this time of growth, that he will provide “help” in the time of trouble. know that God loves you, and desires you to grow, and has and will supply you with everything you need to be successful.

3.) Don’t be persuaded by fancy words, but only by the word of God:

There is a difference in Godly wisdom, and worldy wisdom. Godly wisdom will give you an understanding of how God wants any and every situation to turn out,  and also what part you play in it. Worldly wisdom is usually wisdom passed down by experience from someone who may have gone through a similar situation and think they know the answer. Unfortunately, the only person who knows the truth about how to solve every problem is the word. And once you link up with someone who is rooted and grounded in the word, then you will get revelation knowledge and Godly counsel.

Remember that God has given us people in the earth to be able to minister to us Christs living word, and it is your duty to seek understanding for yourself. There are also people in your life who will help you to further break down the word, and decipher the truth from the real. Remember to stay diligent, look for fruit, and always compare what someone says to the Word of God. This is assist you in becoming everything God has called you to be!

Count it all joy- Your situation is making you better off!


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“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-4

This scripture, and this song has been in my spirit all week, so I figured I would write about it. Now as you all know, my life has not been roses and chocolates. I have endured many things, and even though I still have tough situations I go through, I really had to thank God for this Fathers day. Let me tell you why.

Until the age of sixteen, I saw my father twice a week. We would go to carnivals, the mall, parks, Belle isle, festivals, and pretty much any outdoor activity you could think of. We were very close, and had a great relationship, until I turned 16.

Once I turned 16, it was like he disappeared. He didn’t call, he didn’t visit, and I had no idea what happened. I never was angry or bitter toward him, I just felt empty on the inside, and didn’t truly realize how much him not being a pertinent part of my life was until I got older. But God has a way of turning situations around.

My father in law is a pastor, and he is filled with so much wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. I was sitting in service listening to him, and starting thinking about all the times I had gone to him about certain situations in my life. About how much he supported our marriage, and how much he loved me. The tears started to pour and I began to thank God for replacing what I felt was lost all these years. Being able to be open and honest to your father is important in a woman’s life, and Matthews Father has stepped in where my dad left off.

No matter how much we try to act like we don’t need a father figure, we do. Sometimes our birth fathers may not be able to be there for us, and maybe that was better for us in the end. However, God said he would be a father to the fatherless, and he will provide whatever is needed for you to be everything he has called you to be on this earth.

Though you have been through so many trials and tribulations, count it all joy, you are NOT alone, God knows the pain you deal with of not having a father in your life, but he can heal that, and restore you.

Men, take this time to reevaluate who you are as a man, and what role you play in your family. Trust and know that your presence, insight, and Godly wisdom is needed. Be who you were called to be in your household; A man.

You are not alone, God will heal, restore, and replenish what was stole from you. Trust and believe God is not done with you, or me yet. So count it all joy!

I love you, and God loves you too. You are not by yourself.