Thinking like how God thinks about your spouse…

 So then,[a] my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; 20 for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.        James 1:19

After being married for almost three years, I believe this scripture speaks life to me every time I read it. Anyone knows that no matter how people try to portray it, nobody’s marriage is perfect. Marriage is a beautiful thing, but it takes prayer, effort, communication, and patience on both parts. I personally love being married, and I absolutely love who I am married too. Over the 5 years that I have known my husband though, God really had to reveal to me how to revere, respect and honor him.  I hope my testimony blesses you all!

When you are in close proximity to anyone all or a majority of the time, tempers can flare at any moment. Disagreements are going to happen, and things are not always going to go your way. When I first got married I understood the idea of Submission and reverence for your husband in theory, but not in practice. This was something that was going to have to take time for me to develop. We would have little spats, I wouldn’t follow through on things he asked me to do, and I would submit, but only to a certain extent. My husband, being the awesome man that he is, never waivered in his love for me despite my faults. He always still treated me with respect, loved on me, and treated me how he wanted to be treated.  I was never mean to him, I never witheld from him, and I never blatantly disrespected him, so I thought I was ok, until one day God spoke to me after a conversation that my husband and I had just had.

God showed me how even though I loved my husband, I didn’t totally reverence him.  Submission, in some cases was optional for me, and even though I wasnt a roof top wife, I needed to praise my husband more and honor him (Honor-to show a courteous regard for, to think highly of). And honestly in some cases I didn’t. As God really ministered to me about this, my heart started to change instantly. I started to see qualities of my husband that I had never seen before, I started to think the best of him in all situations, and I started to be more of a listener than a talker. God really showed up!

Being able to produce the righteousness in your marriage is a wonderful thing. When you are angry with your spouse, being able to hand that anger over to Christ and let him deal with it, is such a wonderful feeling. The bible says,

  “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light    – Matthew  11:28-30.

With so much on our plates, holding on to anger, contempt, or bitterness does nothing for us. We have to give it to Christ and let him handle it. All of our problems and issues he can fix if we just ask him to help us do it. I am a true believer that the word works in every situation and in every area of our lives.

We have to remember that even when our spouse doesn’t do everything we ask, or act Godly toward us, we still have to remember they are God’s child. When we weren’t obedient to the things God wanted us to do he didn’t turn his back on us, or treat us differently, he loved us in spite of, and in order to be more like him we have to emulate his behavior in our everyday lives.

Total submission to Christ, his word, and your husband is necessary to produce the fruits of the spirit in your marriage. 

22But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness,23Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [[a]that can bring a charge]. Galatians 5:22-23.

 When we are not submitted to God and to our spouse, we prevent God from coming in and changing and rearranging things for the better. We have to always remember that no matter how our flesh feels we should respond to certain things. we have to follow the word and allow the word to take over so that God can be glorified in your marriage. Your life is a testimony, and whatever situation you may go through, God can make it better if you ask him to come in, listen to his word, and submit to it. Trust God, his word is the truth, and it will always produce peace in your life every time.




About daranichole

Lover of Christ, Wife, mother, author, and entrepreneur! I have a heart for women!

Posted on October 6, 2011, in Christian Lifestyle, marriage & Family and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. On our 4th Anniversary, this was a wonderful read! God Bless you!

  2. Stephanie Gonzales

    This is awesome and blessed me beyond measure! Thank you for allowing the Holy Spirit to use you!

  3. Steffani C. Gray

    Great post. I’m working on an article regarding submission an obedience. We should chat. You gave me a new perspective, “reverence”!

  4. Wonderful post Dara!! I really needed to read this…

  5. What a great reminder and good word…thanks for the article!

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